Identity Crisis: Am I Real or Am I the Product of Behavioural Conditioning?

Today as I was walking outside I was looking at the point of ‘who I am‘ as ‘who I believe myself to be’ as my ‘identity’ or ‘personality’ if you like.

I looked at how I would define myself in terms of my self-identity as all the things that I like and dislike, and the things I am good and not good at (where I was specifically looking at it from the perspective of who I was a few years ago, as it was then more prominent/clear).

So, I would for instance note that, I like music, I like watching movies, I like going out to concerts, I like reading, I like wearing particular style of clothing, I was into art/graphics, …

Then I looked at, okay — where do these points come from? And I saw that they mostly originated from either my family surrounding and/or friends/school surrounding.

Reading was encouraged at home, my brother and sister listened to the music I liked, my clothing I copied from my school/friends…

If I had been born in a a different family, a different environment — would I still have been the same person? Would I still like the same things? Would I still be good and interested in the same things?

So then, looking at the points that we usually look at when we look at ‘who we are’ and ‘what defines us’ — these points become pretty irrelevant, because they are purely coincidental.

If I had been a feral child, growing up with wolves — would I like the same music if I heard it? No — because it wasn’t part of my upbringing, it wasn’t part of my environment. So, when I say “I like this and that music” — what does this really mean, because I’ve just established that this ‘like’ is purely coincidental, in terms of being related to where I was brought up ( which is coincidental, you don’t know where you’re going to end up being born). I can’t really say that “I” like this music, as it being an inherent part of ‘who I am’, because it could have easily been otherwise – so it’s not valid. So is it then of any value, is it of any relevance? Yet, I will judge people and form opinions about them based on what music they like, what clothes they wear, etc. — which isn’t really fair, considering that ‘who they are’ as a personality and their personal identity is also just the product of their environment.

So who am I? What makes me, me? What’s the purpose of Life if not following my personality which I’ve built up / accumulated throughout my life?

To be continued…