Pay No Attention to That Big Speaker in the Sky

Dude, can you turn that DOWN?

Ok, Da-da has nothing else to do but think and wonder — or try to think and wonder, while watching children NOT think in wonder — and he’s been wonderthinking if someone, somewhere, has discovered how to create and induce focused gravity waves, and have been testing such a system for nefarious purposes.

Peaceful or not, these potential sound/weather engineers were no doubt wasting their potential — potentially — on some spooky arm of the U.S. Government, which has nothing better to do than waste tax dollars on weapons of bass production. Middle-class reduction? Too bad they can’t take credit for creating BANKS, those weapons of crass destruction. Wealth reduction? Anyway, here’s why Da-da suspects someone somewhere may have discovered how to induce focused gravity waves.

Besides all of these examples, Da-da had his own earwitness event earlier this year:

Pay No Attention to the Clown Banging a Shield Behind the Curtain

The other night, April 12th, at approx. 3:00 am, while Da-da was trying to sleep after visiting with friends in Northern California, Da-da was witness to the weirdest thunder Da-da’s ever heard in 198 years of thunder concerts. “Regular” thunder booms and echoes. But this thunder was, to wax onomonopoetic, like this: BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM…. Da-da lost count, but it sounded like seven times. (Seventh Seal? Buehler?) There was no echo, though, just extremely impressive and repeated, loud metallic reports of equal intensity.

The trailing edge of a storm was indeed over us, but nothing was happening until the cacophony, which sounded for all the world like a thousand-foot-tall giant banging a club against an enormous bronze war shield, and there was no rain or hail — or lightning — where Da-da was. It did, however, make the whole of Marin County vibrate. And while some might think it was due to thunder echoing (the town where Da-da heard the sounds is in a large box valley, suggesting echo to some), Da-da is a recovering musician (jazz and classical) and has rather acute hearing, and can tell if a sound is an echo or not. Additionally, Da-da not only grew up in a box valley surrounded by mountains and thunderstorms, he also spent lots of time in Colorado Springs, the thunder and lightning capital of the world, so he’s pretty much heard it all — that is, until now.

Suffice to say that it seemed like some large and aggressive zeitgeist-y spirit had finally been purged (and wasn’t very happy about it), trying one last time to scare the pants off everyone. Well, it worked for the people around Da-da. Da-da himself rarely wears pants to bed, but if he did, they would’ve been scared off. (Da-da actually wears boxers with little Yodas on them.) So. Slice it right with Occam’s razor and you’ve got unusual thunder. Slice it sinister (that is, slice it left) and you might’ve just heard HAARP being… HAARPy.

Ah. Now the weird part: The exact same metallic banging sound was reported in San Diego, CA and Lacey, WA at the exact same time, 525 miles south and 750 miles north, respectively. That’s some echo, Timmy. Perhaps this was just a West Coast, longitudinal Testing of the Sound System for the Apocalypse? Next stop: rousing the whole earth at once?

In this account, Da-da blamed HAARP (which turns out to be a global system with numerous installations), which could indeed be the culprit mechanism, as it might be able to induce and modulate an electromagnetic vortex in various levels of the atmosphere strong enough to produce a sound — OR find/create various standing wave resonances in a specific-sized/shaped bodies of ionized air at a distance and modulate sound into it. Those are two ways to potentially generate the observed phenomena.

Another avenue for creating these sounds is via focused gravity wave. The aformentioned weird sounds were the smoking gun. Since they were identical they were clearly a test recording designed to provoke terror, and since they were LOUD, the focused or circular gravity wave hypothesis makes more sense. It’s easy to assume a gravity wave application if you know how speakers work:

Basically, when electrical current flowing through some matrix (copper, air, etc.) changes direction, the material’s polar orientation reverses. A speaker is basically an electromagnet, and when you apply a modulated AC current to it (modulated by say a spooky voice through a microphone)…. BOOM. Sound from the speaker.

Now imagine that someone invents a way of creating gravity waves at a distance — or reverse engineers one from alien technology (like they did with the laser, the transister, memory metal, etc.) — using the earth’s natural magnetic and electrical fields. However it’s created, the circular gravity wave itself acts as the magnet, and the air inside the magnetic toroid (esp. wet air) acts as the matrix. Indeed, the air would have to be the right density to achieve a truly sonorous effect, say 75% humidity or more. Apply a modulated current to said air matrix and BOOM: youse got yer Sound System of the Apocalypse available for use in scaring the extremely gullible and telling people the white zone is for loading and unloading ONLY. It’s also conceivable that this technology could be used to create light effects, or perhaps even project images with the help of space-based lasers on satellites. Depends on how much mojo’s workin’.

So. If you hear the Horn of the Apocalypse — or the Gong of the Apocalypse, or the Giant Rubber Chicken of the Apocalypse — or somesuch spooky sky sound in the coming months, you can sit back and relax and hope that they start playing requests. (Arthur C. Clarke said that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. POOF.) If all this sky sound system stuff is true and viable, after they use it for scaring the pants off people at the London Olympics, this kinda thing could open up a whole new royalties/copyright stream for recording artists, like Gordon… er, Sting, doing planetary shows. Hey, Gordon, could you turn that down?

All that said… if the End-of-Times Light-n-Sound Show you see is AWESOME and makes you feel GOOD and HOPEFUL and HAPPY and a lot of other nice words — and nobody dies — it’s probably NOT the U.S. Government acting as producer. It’s probably something several orders of magnitude better.