Florida. Ohio. These are states that have earned reputations as prime destinations for stupid crimes and bizarre behavior. But strange, head-scratching, and just plain inexplicable stuff happens all across this great country of ours — so much of it, in fact, that even the most insane news reports can slip through the cracks. So as 2012 comes to a close, we’ve decided to highlight some of the weirdest stories that took place this past year, one from every state. America, you are so weird.
The Tuscaloosa County Sheriff’s office put an alleged methamphetamine cook on its most wanted list. His name? Walter White.
When multitasking attacks: An extensive rescue operation was mounted to rescue Maria Pestrikoff after she hurtled off a cliff while texting and trying to toss a cigarette butt over the edge. She slipped and fell 60 feet down to the beach. The fire department hauled her up on a stretcher, and she was treated for multiple injuries.
A massive fire that burned some 18,000 acres of Tonto National Park was caused by a bachelor-party campout participant whose incendiary shotgun shell ignited the vegetation. Perhaps he should have glanced at the shell’s packaging, which read: “Shoots 100 feet of fire, setting everything in its path ablaze. Warning: Extreme FIRE HAZARD.”
Renee Jackson, 35, made a half-hearted attempt to hold up a convenience store while wielding a pair of hot-dog tongs. When police arrived at the J-Mart in Fort Smith, they found Jackson to be extremely intoxicated. He told police he wanted to go to jail to see how his family did without him since they did not appreciate him.
A man named Henry Wolf filed a lawsuit claiming that the “ridged seat” of his 1993 BMW motorcycle caused him mental and emotional anguish by causing a severe case of priapism: an erection that lasted for two years, leaving him unable to engage in sexual activity.