Denmark Offers to Buy U.S.

After rebuffing Donald J. Trump’s hypothetical proposal to buy Greenland, the federal government of Denmark has introduced that it will be enthusiastic about shopping for the United States as an alternative.

“As we have now acknowledged, Greenland is just not on the market,” a spokesperson for the Danish authorities mentioned on Friday. “We have famous, nonetheless, that in the course of the Trump regime just about the whole lot within the United States, together with its authorities, has most positively been on the market.”

“Denmark could be enthusiastic about buying the United States in its entirety, with the exception of its authorities,” the spokesperson added.

A key provision of the acquisition provide, the spokesperson mentioned, could be the relocation of Donald Trump to one other nation “to be determined,” with Russia and North Korea cited as attainable locations.

If Denmark’s bid for the United States is accepted, the Scandinavian nation has bold plans for its new acquisition. “We believe that, by giving the U.S. an educational system and national health care, it could be transformed from a vast land mass into a great nation,” the spokesperson mentioned.

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