Germany Making Up For The Holocaust In Exchange For Nuclear Subs To Israel

Jerusalem, Israel – it is perhaps the worst kept nuclear secret on the planet, that Israel is a nuclear nation, but still people try to maintain the mystery revolving around the sole nuclear nation in the Middle East twirling. Well, kind of anyways.

Israel has been, for decades, one of the rare nuclear nations on the planet and now they finally have one of the hallmarks of every such nation, a fleet of nuclear submarines to call their own. The Dolphin class submarines are currently being equipped, according to reports, with nuclear-tipped missiles.

Those subs are of German manufacture and design, a gift that will no doubt make Israel a true power in the region and presumably, finally alleviate some of the guilt the German people feel over the Holocaust by making the country to which people fled perfectly capable of destroying the entire planet many times over at a moment’s notice.

“I can confirm that we have German submarines. It’s no secret. As for the rest, I am not in a position to talk about their capacity,” said Yigal Palmor, a spokesperson for the Israeli foreign ministry.

The submarines are of course widely welcomed in Israel, but others in Germans are apparently a lot less enthusiastic about the prospect of giving such powerful weapons to anyone, particularly the Jewish state.

It’s believed that most of the people providing objections to the sale are concerned about tipping the balance of power in the region or are Nazis.

“Nuclear submarines are not unto themselves nuclear weapons. They are simply subs powered by nuclear fuel but it is rare, almost unheard of in fact, for nuclear powered subs to not have nuclear weapons on board. Part of that is because any nation capable of using nuclear material as fuel also have missiles and part of it just because it would seem weird to not have the full package,” said Scrape TV Middle East analyst David Gershwin. “I mean that makes sense so it’s good that the Germans saw fit to give everything Israel asked for, obviously for a price, so they have the whole collection. I’m sure there are more than a few people who hope this is the end, that they have finally made up for killing all those people in the Holocaust by giving Israel the ability to destroy all of humanity but it probably won’t be.”

It’s not clear if Israel has any plans or even desire to destroy every human being on the planet.

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