Joke: Chik-Fil-A In trouble with FDA over animal cruelty

By Richard Johnson

Today as thousands across the U.S. showed their support of Chik-Fil-A, and CEO Dan Cathy’s comments regarding gay marriage, stunning developments regarding the company’s alleged practice of “animal cruelty” have surfaced.

According to sources within the F.D.A. (Federal Food and Drug Administration), newly reported accusations from former Chik-Fil-A employees allege that the “Ultra Conservative” restaurant chain is engaged in the practice of “strangulating” their chickens as the primary method of culling them for processing into sandwiches for human consumption.

The initial complaint, filed by former employee, Willie Stroker, stated the following,” I just got tired of goin in there day after day and choking them chickens. All the loud cries, the feathers flyin everywhere, the huge mess we had to clean up….that just ain’t right to treat a chicken that way. I’ll tell you one thing, choking these chickens is hard work, anyone that tell’s you different has never choked a chicken before!” A recently leaked photo seems to confirm Mr. Strokers claims of choking chickens:

In response to the allegations, the public relations department for Chik-Fil-A has released the following statement: “None, and I repeat, NONE of our employees has ever “choked” a chicken!” While the truth and veracity of that statement is considered, the turmoil regarding their stance on same-sex marriages continues to boil into a somewhat frothy mess.

Richard Johnson