The Conspiracy Theorists Dictionary

By James Jerry

They’re everywhere. You hear them on the news, see them on the sidewalks, read their blogs, and your kids may in fact go to school with their kids. These neurotic individuals who deviate from the mainstream and preach a more sinister sermon of global politics and diabolical cover-ups. I’m referring to “conspiracy theorists.” A class of creature you’re now better off assimilating with than fighting.

In recent years their numbers have grown into the hundreds of thousands and it’s about time we crushed the language barrier. In order to peacefully live with and do business with these “nuts” we’ve complied a complete list of vocabulary words that conspiracy theorists use on a day-to-day basis which a normal citizen may understand in a totally different way! These words were defined through vigorous research and one on one interviews with the top conspiracy brass. Enjoy.

**Warning: The definitions of these words do not represent the opinions of ITHP but are defined by how “conspiracy theorists” view each word. This list is intended for entertainment purposes only. **

9/11: A false flag attack orchestrated by shadowy elements of the world government in order to drastically alter the human psyche, pass Draconian laws with political ease, justify perpetual warfare, upgrade the military, influence world economic factors, and complete the systematic obliteration of the Muslim people.

1984: The most important contribution to literature in the last century. The classic novel authored by George Orwell in 1949 predicting the coming of a totalitarian government that is eerily similar to the present day power structure.

AIDS: A man made disease engineered to limit population growth in Africa.

Alex Jones: An amateur documentary director, founder of InfoWars and the Godfather of the modern day conspiracy movement.

Aspartame: A highly controversial sweetener increasingly added in the U.S food supply which causes various health problems.

The Bailout: The merciless raping of U.S taxpayers by big banks.

Barack Obama: A Kenyan native who was installed into power to convert the United States into a Socialistic prison.

Black Helicopters: United Nations ariel vehicles that patrol the skies often in training exercises for a future hostile takeover.

Big Brother: The massive oppressive world government that constantly monitors and attempts to influence our every move.

Big Sis: Slang term coined by Matt Drudge in refrence to Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napoliano. Ms. Napoliano is considered to be a puppet for the man.

The Bilderberg Group: A highly secretive invitation only meeting of influential western powerhouses once every year.

Bill Gates: A globalist that has been accused of supporting depopulation tactics in Africa under the guise of aids.

Bird Flu: A false flag attack in order to cause mass hysteria and make a large profit for big pharma via vaccination.

Building 7: The smoking gun of 9/11. A 47 story building that was demolished via thermite on 9/11 at  5:20:33 pm minutes after the BBC already said it had collapsed when in fact it was perfectly in tact behind the reporter.

Chemtrail: Clouds left behind high flying jets that look similar to contrails but later expand leaving dangerous biological particles that may be used to depopulate the world or geo-engineer the climate. These so-called ‘particles’ include aluminum and barium which have harmful effects on humans.

Conspiracy Theorist: An extremely derogatory term hatched by the MSM to classify intelligent individuals who disagree with corporate and government versions of historical events and policy such as 9/11 and the Patriot Act.

Corporate Shill: “Another whore in the capitalist gang bang.” Someone who sells their soul to a massive corporation through posing as a normal citizen but in reality is a shill attempting to secretly sell you on something.

Council on Foreign Relations (CFR): An elite American think tank comprised of high ranking corporate, media, and governmental members whose agenda is a world government via global domination.

Counter Intelligence Program (COINTELPRO): Highly secretive and illegal projects conducted by the FBI in order to infiltrate and discredit domestic political organizations.

Dick Cheney: Chairman and CEO of Halliburton and Vice President under George W. Bush. Suspected of involvement in the 9/11 attacks.

Disinformation: False information that is released to the public in order to mislead people into believing things that are not true.

Elite: Anyone that holds a very high ranking position at a powerful corporation or within the government.

Facebook: A company funded by CIA/NSA connected firms in order to gather free intelligence on citizens.

False Flag: An attack orchestrated by a group of elites and blamed on their enemies in order to garner support from the people to wage a unjustified war.

Federal Reserve: The central bank of the United States that prints worthless money with the end game of enslaving the entire country.

Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA): A hated agency which merged with the loathed Department of Homeland security. FEMA is responsible for setting up secret prisons around the country called FEMA Camps in the case Martial Law is ever declared.

Flouride: Added to the U.S water suppoly as hydrofluosilicic acid, silicofluoride or sodium fluoride in order to dumb down the population and poison people with cancers.

Fox News: A powerful Zionist media network controlled by News Corporation that is notorious for spreading propaganda. However Fox can often be used as a credible source to quote in certain cases.

Free energy: The theory that we don’t need oil or gas because of advanced technologies but special interest groups suppress this information.

Freemason: A person who is involved in a highly secretive illumanti worshiping society where high ranking members control the world.

Geo-engineering: An insanely risky plan hatched by egomaniacal globalists and scientists to artificially modify our earths climate system in orders to reverse the effects of global warming or possibly to weaponize the weather.

George Carlin: A hero comedian who fought against the New World Order and never conformed with the Sheeple.

George Soros: A corrupt globalists who amassed billions of dollars off toppling countries’ currencies.

The Greys: Extraterrestrial beings named for their skin tone.

Gang Stalking: Intense psychological warfare against an individual who is followed and harassed by a gang of mysterious people. Not to be confused with schizophrenia.

Globalists: Men or woman who are usually elites and advocate bringing the world onder one centralized governing body.

Global Warming: A staged phenomenon used to garner support for climate engineering and global government.

GMO: (Genticallly modified organisms): A way that evil corporations such as Monsanto use the latest technology in molecular biology to poison our food and make a large profit via gene-splicing vegetable seedlins with harmful pesticides and herbicides and other harmful genetic modification.

Godlike Productions: An online forum that doesn’t require a user name or password to post content and is a place were like minded truth promoters come together to discuss important topics.

Gold Standard: The only monetary system that should be in use. It is where a nation’s money is directly linked to gold.

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